'Twas the Very Night of Christmas

Mark Fennell

(co-written with another engineer)

1995

‘Twas the very night of Christmas

And all the through the bays

No machine was running

Not even Rene’s

All the programs were checked

On the coaters with care

But we had to work Christmas

And it just wasn’t fair

Upper management was home

All snug in their beds

While visions of dollar signs

Danced in their heads

But the real workers slaved

Like I at my ‘scope

Merry Christmas! Bah Humbug,

We’d given up hope

Then out in Diffusion

There arose such a clatter

I sprang from my Nikon

To see what was the matter

I made for the door

At my best clean room pace

(But at 2 miles per hour

One could hardly say “raced”)

I pushed the black button

And the doors slid apart

What I saw out in Etch

Well, it just stopped my heart

It was not just a smock,

It was a Santa Claus suit

And in it was Harold

He was bringing us loot!!

He said that three ghosts

Had dropped by this year

They told him of Christmas

And drank all his beer

The spirit of giving

Was now understood

(To keep beer in the fridge

He had to be good)

Now, I thought he’d lost it

Or was under a spell

But an agenda was typed

And a meeting was held

Where he told us the story

Of how his life had been changed

(But then again Harold

Always seemed kind of strange)

But none of us cared

If his tale seemed tall

Because at the end

He had gifts for us all

As he passed each of them out

He looked over at me

“I wrapped every gift

And the paper is lint free”

As we opened the gifts

We had no words to say

There were even free tickets

To the Byte Stop Cafe

I found myself wondering

If it really was true

Could Harold have changed?

Was he totally new?

But then as he left

He said with a smirk

“This counts as your break

Now get back to work.”